Daily Archives: April 17, 2014

MEN ON PARADE

1512110_241626379331641_1164285863_o“Okay, okay I’ll be right there,  just give me two minutes to run a comb through my hair.  I hung the phone up and grabbed my pocketbook out of the file drawer.” 

Down was Jane’s office, workshop or warehouse, whatever she was calling it these days.  We planed a working lunch and as usual she had another one of her men for me to inspect.  My morning had been horrendous but one thing about terrible mornings..they never last beyond noon.  My viewing of Jane’s men did not hold much promise for a light cheerful lunch.

“Damn.”  A curse escaped my lips as I bumped my leg on the filing cabinet drawer that some blankety blank imbecile left open.  I blushed as I realized I was that imbecile.   “Oops, sorry,” I said to the Someone who is always watching whatever I do or say, thinking all the while how utterly foolish I feel because I’m actually embarrassed by my foul mouth, especially in His presence.

I had the elevator all to myself and a fleeting thought dashed through my mind that a cable would snap and though the stop at the bottom would be inevitable it would not be as smooth as I would like.

Jane was at her desk when I got there.  It was laid out as our dinner table at the moment.  I saw her before she saw me and not for the first time I sent a thank you up to the Power that is for sending her into my life all those years ago.  She looked up and smiled.

“Well you finally made it, I’m starved.  I sent out.  Salad and sandwiches, okay with you?”

“Late if it isn’t.”

“Don’t get flip, just say thanks for my trouble,” she said.

“Trouble, what trouble.  More than likely Harry went to get it,” I replied.

“Guilty as charged,” she grinned.

No sooner was I seated when she asked, “Well what do you think?”

“About what?” I asked, feigning ignorance.

“Not about what, about him, there across the room.”

I looked over to where she pointed.  Not bad.  Better than not bad as a matter of face.  I didn’t want to tell her that right away though.

“Why Jane he’s just just about perfect,” I said after taking a bite of my sandwich.  ”Just what I’ve been looking for.”

“Yeah, sure, when have I heard that before?  Oh right just about all the time,” she said as she took a bite out of her roast beef sandwich.  ”You’ll find something wrong, you always do.”  Not breaking her stride she asked, “How was your date last night?”

“Oh, the usual,” I answered. “Dinner, dancing and wrestling.”

“I didn’t know you liked wrestling.”

“I don’t,” I answered, “the wrestling came when he walked me to my door.  I won, he went home.”

I looked across the room.  ”That jacket hangs beautifully on him.  He’s in great condition.”

“Why don’t we skip over all of the BS and get to the part where his eyes are too close or maybe too far apart..no, no the one about ‘he has a discolored tooth’ that was the ultimate.  I just don’t trust you and I haven’t got all day for the games.  I’ve got to get back to work.”

“Bitchy, bitchy today.  Why don’t you get to the point and say what you really think.  Stop blasting me and eat your lunch, we only have half an hour,” I teased, affectionately.  I can always count on Jane not to mince words when it comes to setting me straight, especially in the man department.  ”And as for that spot on his tooth, it screamed for attention, if was all I could see.”

Jane got up.

“Where are you going?”

“To get more coffee, want some?” she asked.

“No.  If I have any more I’ll be climbing the walls.  I’ve got to get this work done or there’ll be no hope for the weekend off for me.”

While she was gone I sneaked another look at Jane’s man.  She caught me.

“Okay, let’s have it.  What are you thinking?”

“Well I like the color and style of his hair, can’t tell about his eyes because he’s too far away.  Are they blue or green?  I have a preference for green as you know.  I like his smile, looks a bit roguish.  Ummm.”

“This is encouraging.  I’m excited, things are looking up.  His eyes are brown.”

“Well he’s certainly tall enough and he’s got nice buns, fills out those jeans nicely.  He’ll look good on a bike.”

We sat there, silently, concentrating on our lunch for a few minutes.

“Are you going out with him again?’

“What?  What did you say?”

“I asked if you are going out with him again.  You know, the wrestler.”

“Oh, I don’t know.  He’s okay.  We don’t have much in common though.”

“Well you don’t have to like all the same things, that would be boring.  Can’t you bend a little?”

“I’m not going to get into a relationship with just anyone.  The fact that he breathes and moves around doesn’t make him Mr. Right, you know.  I have time, I’m not that desperate yet.”

“Close enough though.  You aren’t getting any younger and if you wait much longer you knight will be older that mold, wearing rust not armor and riding a wheelchair instead of a horse.  You know what your problem it?  Are you listening to me?”

“What do you think of his attitude?”

“Who’s attitude?  what the hell are you talking about?”

“Him.  His attitude,” I answered pointing across the room.

“Oh for God’s sake, you’re hopeless.  You know Gail sometimes I want to strangle you.  The only thing that stops me is best friends are hard to replace but I’m getting within spitting distance of giving up on you altogether.”

” I don’t see why you’re getting so huffy.  You just brought him around for me to get a look at, it’s not like you gave birth to him.  Besides I like the looks of him, I really do but Jane, You know I like my men to have personality too.  Looks aren’t everything.” I finished my salad and started cleaning up my mess.  ”I guess I will if he calls>”

“Will what?”  Jane asked.

“go out with him again, if he calls.  He isn’t all that bad, pretty nice, as a matter of fact, good dancer.  Now that I think of it I kind of liked his smile, his laugh is contagious too.  He might not have liked me, you know that is always a possibility.  He might not have seen me for the sweet and charming person I am.  What are you smiling at?”

“You.  You like him.  You’re crazy, you know but you’re all I have and I love you.  So what about this guy,” she gestured across the room, ” what’s the final word?”

“Yeah, he’ll do fine.  I like him, I like him a lot.  It’s a match.”

“Great. Hey Harry, do me a favor,” she called across the room, “take this male hunk of mannequin up to the sport’s department and put him in the display with the girl on the bike.  Do it now please, before Miss Fussy Britches finds a blemish on his cheek or something.  Thanks Harry.  I’ll be up in a minute to put on the finishes touches.”  She bent an gave me a kiss on the cheek and walked away mumbling something about crazy friends and mannequins with attitudes for heaven’s sake, what next.

For the second time today I lifted my eyes to the place where He is supposedly sitting and thanked Him again for Jane and asked if He’s not too busy would He please urge last night’s date to call me again.